What happens when it feels like you're Job

I am not Job. Let's make that clear. I have not lost all my children, my possessions, nor my health.
But there are days and weeks, you just feel like you don't have much. Lately, that's how I feel. I love life here, I really do. However I have days, such as today, when it feels like a million things have gone wrong, I could really use a punching bag or a long run, and I am just empty. I finished reading through the Bible a couple weeks ago (something I started Jan of 2015 - it's been a long haul!), and was wondering where to go. Made my way to Job, and sometimes I can really identify with his questions, his rants, and his sense of what??

So why on earth am I blogging today??

I don't know why, but somehow that's what my fingers are doing.

Blogging make me think. I'm not always a person that processes things, I'm not someone who lies awake at night thinking over my entire day, I fall asleep in ten seconds. So blogging makes me think, what I have done, where am I going, what's happening, what GOD is doing.. and see the bigger picture.

Which is really what our life is about, right? Not just me. Not just how I feel great today, or how I'm frustrated, or whatever. It's about the big picture: God, and what he wants, and loving the people around us. What a Sunday School answer, but TRUE.

A friend of mine encouraged me the other day with the reminder of being thankful. I've read books about being thankful, I've helped others see what they have to be thankful for, and now I couldn't even remember it myself!! That's why we have others around us to sharpen us I guess. It's really all about perspective.

So, I'm frustrated about chaos with playing guitars in a far too small classroom with way too many kids; HOWEVER, I am so thankful that we have these guitars, the money donated by dear friends and church family, and that virtually all the kids actually want to learn guitar.

I'm at a loss at what do to with the girls in a grade who used to all be the best of friends and this week it has suddenly turned into a catfight; HOWEVER, I am thankful that I understand enough and know them well enough to have even noticed this, and that I had the opportunity to sit with one of the girls during some downtime today and just be her friend.

I'm searching and thinking and stressing about what I should be deciding for the next year(s), and having that weight has made life all the more overwhelming; HOWEVER, I am thankful that I have options (when so many people don't), that I know I have people welcoming me on either end of the spectrum, that I know God can use my gifts in a variety of ways and places, and that lots of people are sharing this load with me!


Talking about Job.. I should say I don't just identify with his rants and questions. When God shoves his way into the conversation, there is no doubt that he is GOD and who are we to question him. I love that, even though it doesn't answer all our "whys" and "hows" and "but i wanna to that...," he is in control, he has his reasons and wow does he ever love us.