What happens when it feels like you're Job

I am not Job. Let's make that clear. I have not lost all my children, my possessions, nor my health.
But there are days and weeks, you just feel like you don't have much. Lately, that's how I feel. I love life here, I really do. However I have days, such as today, when it feels like a million things have gone wrong, I could really use a punching bag or a long run, and I am just empty. I finished reading through the Bible a couple weeks ago (something I started Jan of 2015 - it's been a long haul!), and was wondering where to go. Made my way to Job, and sometimes I can really identify with his questions, his rants, and his sense of what??

So why on earth am I blogging today??

I don't know why, but somehow that's what my fingers are doing.

Blogging make me think. I'm not always a person that processes things, I'm not someone who lies awake at night thinking over my entire day, I fall asleep in ten seconds. So blogging makes me think, what I have done, where am I going, what's happening, what GOD is doing.. and see the bigger picture.

Which is really what our life is about, right? Not just me. Not just how I feel great today, or how I'm frustrated, or whatever. It's about the big picture: God, and what he wants, and loving the people around us. What a Sunday School answer, but TRUE.

A friend of mine encouraged me the other day with the reminder of being thankful. I've read books about being thankful, I've helped others see what they have to be thankful for, and now I couldn't even remember it myself!! That's why we have others around us to sharpen us I guess. It's really all about perspective.

So, I'm frustrated about chaos with playing guitars in a far too small classroom with way too many kids; HOWEVER, I am so thankful that we have these guitars, the money donated by dear friends and church family, and that virtually all the kids actually want to learn guitar.

I'm at a loss at what do to with the girls in a grade who used to all be the best of friends and this week it has suddenly turned into a catfight; HOWEVER, I am thankful that I understand enough and know them well enough to have even noticed this, and that I had the opportunity to sit with one of the girls during some downtime today and just be her friend.

I'm searching and thinking and stressing about what I should be deciding for the next year(s), and having that weight has made life all the more overwhelming; HOWEVER, I am thankful that I have options (when so many people don't), that I know I have people welcoming me on either end of the spectrum, that I know God can use my gifts in a variety of ways and places, and that lots of people are sharing this load with me!


Talking about Job.. I should say I don't just identify with his rants and questions. When God shoves his way into the conversation, there is no doubt that he is GOD and who are we to question him. I love that, even though it doesn't answer all our "whys" and "hows" and "but i wanna to that...," he is in control, he has his reasons and wow does he ever love us.

More vacation reminiscing - gifts, singing, waterfalls

When Danae arrived, she had two fulll suitcases, and most of it was not hers! I don't know if I remember everything that came, but here's a start. Frisbees and jumpropes for school (mostly funded by my care group at church I think? - these have been a huuge hit with the kids!!); lots of licorice (one of my favourites); tupperware from my grandma (nice to have sealing containers with these insects!); duotangs (binders and such are hard to find here); small music items from my aunt (triangle, harmonicas, eggshakers, etc - very handy!); many books from my friends (which I read all too fast!); guitar strings; pencils and stickers; t-shirts (for me, I did not bring a lot of clothes when I came); salty dark chocolate (another big hit for my stomach); chocolate bars, raisins!, welches and other snacks; a journal from my brother and sister in law; a few letters which are maybe the best of all... and I'm sure there's more that I'm missing! Thank you SO much, everyone who sent something with! I appreciate the gifts so much, not just because of their usefulness here, but also because of the thought put into sending them, I feel very loved.

the stash!

To add to the hecticness, my worship team was scheduled to lead worship at church a few days after Danae arrived. At first I asked Danae if she wanted to help sing, but the Plaut Dietsch and Spanish barrier was a bit much! Instead, me and her pulled out an old favourite that we've sung a lot at a young adults group at home, Jesus Loves Me ~ Chris Tomlin. for a special number. It was really good to sing with her again. And yes, we sang it in English so few understood it.

Now onto July 6th.. we left the Animal Refuge and headed to Coroico by taxi. We arrived at the main plaza, our meeting point. We met by a couple guys a few minutes later. They didn't speak a lot of English and we were skeptical that this was all good, but they seemed to know what was going on so away we went! We drove for a while down and up a valley, and stopped at a lovely little home with coca leaves drying out front.

 This is the drying coca plants. I took the photo through the van window cuz I wasn't sure if it was a big deal or not. Coca is the main source of income in this valley, which I believe is one of the biggest sources of coca leaves for cocaine production in the world.

Now we went hiking downhill for about half an hour. Our guide was skipping along ahead of us while me and Danae were struggling along with our bad knees (as Danae had injured hers shortly before coming). However, it was a beautiful hike in the rainforest. We stop in a little river, at the top of a little canyon, which looked deceptively like nothing from above, but had 5 beautiful waterfalls in this narrow crevice. Here we took turns rappelling down, it was a lot of fun, and as always, very beautiful.

 The view straight up

 Me on the way down

 One rappel was not in a waterfall at all as the conditions were too rough, we just put a rope around a tree and went down the rock face for 60-100 ft (not sure exactly). The longest rappel I've ever done, that's for sure.

Danae on the way down

 

Us and our guide. While not speaking much, we did indeed have a great day with him!

Can't see them, but there's vines all around me, hanging from the trees

 

After rappelling, we walked through a river for a while, and came to a delightful little hidden nook. A cove and a canyon put together. Could've spent the day there! Our guide took to jumping off high points of the rocks, while Danae and I just went swimming around in the very cold water. 

We had a little lunch in the river, and then hiked uphill for 20 minutes. 2 minutes into this, Danae and I were done, it seemed impossible. We took many breaks to enjoy the view or take pictures! But really we were just trying to breathe. 

This adventure, just like the previous day on Death Road, was absolutely amazing. Again my only wish was that we could stop and just enjoy the outdoors rather than go-go-go.

July 5th: El Camino de la Muerte

 

Well hello, welcome to July 5th, 2016. Danae and I woke up around 6? to have breakfast and check out of our hotel and walk a few blocks to meet our tour group for the day, called Gravity. Fun fact about staying in that hotel, it has 16 ish floors, and Danae and I wanted to 'prepare' ourselves for biking at high altitudes... so we ran up all those stairs the day before. We were out of breath after one floor, and high on giggles/no oxygen after the 5th. And you can't prepare yourself for exercising at high altitude in just one day.

 

 a few stairs

Alright, we met our team at a pub in downtown La Paz. We walk into a very atmospheric place, dark wood, dim lighting, and a lot of men. One other woman ended up joining us because her fiancee convinced her to, but other than that we were a group of male adrenaline junkies.. and me and danae. However, a very friendly and welcoming group. Some from Germany, some from Australia, one guide from Bolivia and another from Holland, plus us two. We got into a bus with all of our bikes loaded on top, and head uphill out of La Paz, to La Cumbre, I believe. We started at about 15,000ft there. Took our bikes off the rack and did some test runs. They were very clear about not using just the front brake, etc etc. I felt a little like I was back running bikes at camp, because I did the exact same thing. Too many people take a dive over the front. May I just say, these bikes were amazing. The shocks especially. You could go over a larger than fist sized rock, just make sure you keep your hands steady and you barely noticed it.

our group at the beginning. It was pretty cold at this altitude, plus there were intense winds on the road, so this outerwear was really necessary.

The road itself is about 55 km long. It was built in the 1930s, Paraguayan prisoners of war, who all died because of either falling over the edge, or blowing up parts of the mountain to clear it and themselves with it, or sickness, or landslides. This is where it originally got the name of Death Road. For many years it has been one of the few roads to connect La Paz to the northern region of Bolivia, so it was well traveled. It is mostly a one lane, dirt and rock road, with a rock wall on one side and a deep valley on the other side, hitting depths of 2000 feet. Many many vehicles have gone over the edge. Starting in the 80s, a new road was built that serves the same area, and has been built not quite on the edge of the cliffs, is paved, and has landslide preventions in place; this road now serves the majority of the people here. Thus Death Road is mostly traveled by tourists and the local people who live along the road, not a lot of traffic at all.

Enough history! The first 20 ish km are paved and have guard rails, and is downhill. Sounds nice and easy, right? Well living in flat Manitoba means I don't have experience with biking at high speeds, and around sharp curves. The brakes on these bikes were used almost the whole time, while the pedals didn't get used at all!

 Danae and I holding up the rear!

We stopped regularly, so we could regroup and rest our hands from all that braking!

Beautiful beautiful scenery

Alright after 22 km of smooooth sailing, we did 8 km of uphill, sitting in the bus and eating some food. The pavement and guard rails ended and we began a combination of gravel, rocks, dirt, clay, moss, and waterfalls. The guides emphasized over and over again, brake gently, do NOT look to the side because your hands will follow your eyes and you'll go over, don't go faster than you feel comfortable going, don't dodge the babyheads (rocks the size of babies heads) - go OVER them, keep your arms like chicken wings to absorb impact, etc. They were great, and didn't make me and Danae feel sub par for not going 200 km/hr.

the edge, a few hundred or thousand feet down

 MANY of these

once we got 40 km or so down the road, it was significantly warmer and we started shedding layers. 

This bus was with us the whole way down. What a great bus driver.

The group, minus a guide and the driver and the camera man

When we got to the bottom, we were around 4000 ft. Rainforest, wet and warm. Danae said "I'm definitely doing that again." I'm not sure how I feel about doing it again. It was amazing, don't get me wrong. But we couldn't even enjoy the view because we were trying so hard to not kill ourselves. I think I'd like to run it, actually. Some people do. Anyways, if you have steady nerves and like a good view, you should do this, it is totally worth it. It isn't strenuous on the legs, in fact there is hardly any pedaling necessary. It is amazing. 

We went for a 3 o'clock lunch at a Animal Refuge nearby. Danae and I had booked a night there, so when the group left to go back to La Paz (via the newer road), we stayed there. Mostly birds, monkeys, crocodiles, turtles.. no jaguars or anything. The law says they have to take in any animal that is brought it, but the government provides no funding for this whatsoever. Most people working here are volunteers from around the world (Australians, British, American, German). The birds have a bird cage, the crocodiles have a cage, and a few bad monkeys, but other than that animals are out in the open. It's the humans that get the cage. The restaurant, washrooms, showers are all in a cage, as well as a long path from is encaged. Our lodging for the night, a treehouse, was out in the animal area, so we had to be careful because those monkey love to go into pockets, open zippers, take cameras etc. A very interesting night!

 sandflies are insane!

 

The upstairs of our little treehouse

 our tree house from ground level

the entrance to get into the Refuge

A really really good day and night!