Well, is it time for reflection? Bimester 2 is drawing to a close, with the last day of classes on June 29th, plus two more days of games/community competition. I have been in Bolivia for around 5 months, almost half of my year here is gone.
How has the time gone, quickly or slowly?
Classic question. Well my answer is the cliche, classic answer. In some ways it has flown by and it feels like I just got here, in other ways it feels like I've been here a long time. Today it feels like I've been here a long time, there's a rhythm and steadiness to life that makes it feel like it's always been like this. (One reason is probably because as I do things the second time around, for 2nd bimester, things are EASY and SIMPLE as opposed to chaotic and crazy).
What's the hardest part of life?
Umm...here's an abstract one - trusting and leaving everything in God's hands! Will it always be like this? Probably. From the times when I miss people or events at home, when I'm struggling with what I should be 'doing' in life, when I know that I've fallen short in work here, etc, there are lots of times when I think and think and think (no distractions like a million hobbies or friends like in MB) and while processing and meditating is great, I often try to fix things, or figure things out, on my own. So letting go, that's really hard, but some days I get it.
A not-so-abstract hard part: teaching well/making lessons interesting and relevant/reaching every student. I struggle a lot with reaching the fringe students.
What do I enjoy the most?
Lots! Little moments with students when they really get a lesson, or they realize that they matter in life, or that I care about them. A weekly bible study that some friends and I started up a month ago has become a highlight, both for growing spiritually and for socializing. Evening spanish lessons are really great, the teacher and the students are wonderful community. And running, always, has been something I enjoy, both for physical and mental strength, here I run a few times a week with short intense runs (which are always great), but I try to go for a long run every Sunday afternoon. This has accidentally turned into a real and honest prayer time, I'm in the middle of the bush, far away from any people, and I feel like I can just let loose and be open with God (not that I can't be honest with him other times, its just way better without distractions around.. if that makes sense!) I also love how Bolivian life is relaxed and easygoing, and yet crazy and chaotic, all at the same time. Hopefully I will take some of the relaxed and easygoing lifestyle home with me.
What am I reading?
Ok no one cares what I read, but it's a big part of my day and my thoughts so I'm going to tell you anyways. I just finished reading Hebrews and I love how it talks about sacrifice, the old ways where it didn't really work, and the new way, the ONE sacrifice, and how permanent and perfect it is. Also it goes through the celebrities of faith, and what faith is. Amazing. 10:39 "But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved." 11:39 "These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised,..." 13:20-21 "Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
I read a book this morning (it's Saturday, don't worry) called Quiet, by Susan Cain. A look at introverts and extroverts, what our world seems to expect is healthy (extroverts) but maybe we should want something else too. Very thought provoking, I will definitely read it again.
I'm also working my way through Mere Christianity, by CS Lewis. I've read this numerous times, but it's always good. He presents Christianity in such a logical and non 'religious' way, it's quite refreshing.
What am I learning?
- to TRUST GOD! "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will NOT be afraid, though the earth give way and the mountains fall to the bottom of the sea." Psalms something, I forget.
- everyone has a story. The smiles, the tears, the anger, the stiff upper lip... don't just take it for itself, there's a reason behind it. Care about the person, get past the first look.
- don't underestimate myself. In Canada, I'm kinda an average. I'm decent at music, soccer, running, whatever. I'm not bad, but not amazing amazing. I felt very insecure coming here for music and sports, I have no official education! But it turns out I have a lot to offer, in music and sports, and other things too. Figure out what you have to offer, and offer it.
- much more, but my brain is tired.
What can you pray for?
- Praise God for a 2 week vacation, and my sister is coming!! She arrives in 4 days, and I can't actually believe it yet, it seems like a dream, but I am SO excited. We will be adventuring around a few different places in Bolivia, maybe we'll post about it if there's a rainy day.
- Praise God that marks and report cards have gotten a lot easier
- Praise God for relationships back home, friends that chat and cry with me long distance! Or I cry with them! Also for the community here.
- Pray that my heart would be filled with God's love, and that I would be a river passing that love on to everyone around me. These people need love, not my judgement or harsh words, while still teaching a class, somehow!!
- Last and very very importantly, pray that I would make wise decisions for my future. I could stay here beyond this year. Ideally I would decide very very soon about that so the school can make plans. This is a very hard decision to make. If I came back to Canada I would be looking to work in camp ministry, my first and always love. I've looked into a few different camps already to see what sort of opportunities there are out there, and I will continue to be open to more of those! I know that my gifts would be used there, and it would be glorifying to God. I also realize that in different ways, my gifts can be used here to glorify God. How do I decide.
If you are still reading my blog and praying for me after these months, thank you so much! Without your support and prayers, I would be very alone and probably useless. I really appreciate you all.
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