more than just surviving

Well after the hustle and bustle of the last few weeks and especially this last weekend, with track and soccer, and reports cards were due, plus other things as they come up… yesterday was the lowest day I’ve had here. Mentally and physically exhausted, running on 4 hours of sleep for a few nights in a row, feeling frustrated and cynical about classes, sports, languages, cultures, and life in general. Me trying to do it all = not much good. I will probably learn this lesson continually for the rest of my life!  I know it has to be God in me, or else it will nothing. And what purpose is there without God? Really, literally, there is none. I asked for prayer yesterday from my sisters, I spent a lot of time reading in Romans and also in (somewhat desperate) prayer. Life is more than just surviving.
Romans 7. Mostly talking about how the law is cancelled when death occurs, for example if your husband dies, the law of marriage would no longer be there. Same with the law of sin. Towards the end of the chapter, Paul says:

 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

So today, I remember. I remember that I can’t do anything for myself, but JESUS CHRIST can and does. With my pride, my anger, my need to try to do it all on my own. Today, I remember, and I die to myself and sin, and I truly LIVE in Jesus. Today wasn’t perfect, by no means. But it wasn’t just surviving.

Thank you ALL for your continued prayers, I especially felt them today.

Please pray that I will see each of my students as loved and treasured children of God, and not as problems, or objects, or annoyances. Today I was able to see that, but it doesn’t always happen!

I am thankful for the grace and encouragement of my fellow teachers, mission team, and also the students!